Staring at my mustache and unibrow as I put on makeup, wondering why I even bother.
I just texted these words: “If I could have been any faster opening our stupid window I would’ve screamed my fucking head off at him, eyemask on my head and no pants on and all.”
A teacher once told me the best way to remember that “dessert” is spelled with 2 S’s is that you always want seconds on desserts.
When I was in high school my best friend and I would sometimes wake up extra early and drive to the next town over to go to Burger King and get Whoppers for breakfast. We’d sit and eat them and then get stoned on the drive back.
I made it through guys! I’m alive!
I’ve been trying to stay off the internet lately so I don’t bore you all with my scaredy cat wisdom teeth posts. Had to give in to the urge tonight though.
Cause tomorrow’s the day.